Birth Story; Riley Craig Matheson

Riley's pregnancy was a complete roller coaster from start to finish. I suffered terrible SPD with him and could barley walk most days. When I was 37 weeks exactly I had started having pains so was asked to come into hospital. When I arrived and was monitored they could see I was having tightenings. The mw did an internal and told me I was 3-4cms dilated. I was in complete shock as wasn't in pain. She sent me home and told me to be prepared for labour. 

Nothing happened overnight. Or the next day. Or the next and so on. 

I phoned the unit in tears wondering why this was happening to be told; 

"When you have your second baby your automatically already a few centimetres dilated but it doesn't mean your in labour or labour is going to happen anytime soon"

I was devastated. 

I was in so much pain. I struggled to walk and couldn't even turn over in bed without my pelvis clicking and the pain was beyond excruciating. 

Craig & Kayla kept me strong and hot me through the next, very long part. 

I cried every midwife appointment about my SPD but they didn't listen, I didn't get any help or helpful advice. And on top of all this they told me he was breech and I was measuring well above dates. 

I was sent for a growth scan at 38 weeks & presentation scan too. 

He was head down and measuring around 6/6.5lbs.... 

At 41 weeks I was booked in for my sweep at the hospital. Then midwife said she was sure he was breech (again) and dates well over what they should be (again) so 'immediately' for a growth/presentation scan. 

As strange as it sounds I was SO looking forward to my sweep! I wanted this baby out. The pain was far to much and I was massive! 

Only to be told "your waters are bulging so if I give you a sweep I will risk breaking your waters, we don't want that happening so I can't give you one" 

Erm, WHO doesn't want that happening because I DO! I was so disappointed! 

I went for my scan 10 minutes later. 

AGAIN - head down! And baby measuring "8lbs at most". I got my date for induction; Monday 29th October. 

6 days from them.

All we could do now was wait.... 

Saturday 27th October; 

I was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself and in agony with my pelvis. I went to the toilet at 6pm only to discover a little bit of blood. I called MAU and they asked me to come in as I was over my dates. My friend agreed to take me and I said goodnight to Kayla & bye to Craig. I told him I'd probably be back in two hours or so. 

When we arrived at hospital I was monitored and was having some tightenings.. (That was nothing new, I'd been having them for 5 weeks!) All checks came back perfect but midwife agreed to an internal and a sweep as I was nearly at induction... FINALLY! And then "we'll let you away home and see you Monday!"

She started the internal, gave me a bloody sore sweep and told me to get myself ready while she went away to get my notes. She came back minutes later and said "your 5cms Emma so we'll just go and have a baby shall we?" 

I could have KISSED her! I was elated! Finally it was my turn to have my baby boy! 

I called Craig who couldn't believe either and was like a kid at Christmas! I called my mum and made arrangements for her to go to my house and look after my princess who was fast asleep in bed by this point and had no clue by the time she woke up she was going to be a SISTER! 

I was taken to consultant led delivery and shown to my room. I waited on Craig arriving and started panicking, remembering what was about to happen but beaming because I was going to meet my little boy soon. Craig arrived at 10.30pm, nothing much happened really. I wasn't contracting at all and was just uncomfortable. Around midnight I went to the toilet I had really heavy discharge that was tinged green so I told the midwife, she was worried it was meconium & thought my waters were leaking so she examined me again. Still 5s and waters were all still there so she broke them. Literally soaked, right though the bed, the midwife, everything... I was happy though because I thought that was why I was so massive! 

Almost immediately after my waters breaking my contractions started. Really fast and really strong. The clocks went back that night which was so confusing! 

I asked for gas and air. That sorted me out just fine! After an hour of contraction I asked for diamorphine. It didnt touch the pain and within under 2 hours I was pushing. This time I knew he was back to back, just like kayla, so I did anything they told me to try move him! 

No position worked, no matter how hard I pushed. I knew it was going to happen again only this time, things were different because Riley was comfortable and happy, not in any distress. 

The doctor came in twice and told me to keep going, even after three hours of pushing! My midwife eventually said she disagreed with the doctors decision entirely as no progress was happening. I remember looking at the clock at 5.20am and they told me to push for 10 more minutes. That felt like a year. Craig was in bits because he couldn't stand to see me in pain. After then 10 mins I screamed to get the doctor back, the poor midwife was completely on my side and I was being a right cow. The doctor came in and agreed to forceps in theatre. Finally. I signed some form and we got ready. I remember them giving Craig small stuff to wear... He's 6ft 4'.. It really made me laugh which was only a good thing. Craig got changed into bigger clothes and they wheeled me down. Taking my gas and air off me again. Just like with kayla. Worst pain in the world. 

We got into theatre at 6.30am and they gave my spinal. I changed into a different person. I was ready to chat to everyone and forgot I was about to have a baby. I had Craig beside me this time and I wasn't scared at all. I began to push once the forceps were on and with one push his head was out. I remember them telling me to push again but he wasn't coming. It's quite blurry but I remember them all shouting for me to push harder and just at that, at 6.48am, I heard his cry.... 

I looked up and saw my gorgeous, beautiful boy for the first time. 

Craig was in tears, I was in tears, it was amazing. 

The midwife said "wow, he's huge" and as I looked at him getting ready to get weighed I seen just what she meant! I nearly fainted when I realised how big he was! 

10lbs 2.5oz. 54cms. Head full of hair. 

Our gorgeous little boy. 

Kayla's little baby brother. 

Labour might not be pretty and it is the hardest thing in the world but the gift you get at the end is the best thing in the world. 

I had complications after birth but my baby boy was healthy and made a safe arrival and that was all that mattered.

My children are my world and I would do it all again for them in a heartbeat.

Birth Story; Kayla Caroline Matheson

Kayla's due date was June 6th 2011. She had other plans though and arrived 4 weeks early! No patience, like her mummy! 

On Sunday 8th May I was at home and suddenly I started leaking fluids... I was 35 weeks & 6 days. I phoned triage and got asked to come in. By the time we'd got there it had settled down. They did a speculum examination, couldn't see anymore fluid coming out so told me it was urine.... I knew for a fact I hadn't been sitting peeing myself for an hour! Haha. The place was heaving with people, one woman in waiting room who was contracting and everything so to this day, I think they sent me away because it was too busy! I went home and it still kept happening. When I woke up Monday morning there was no signs of any fluid or anything so I stopped worrying and got on with my day. 

Tuesday 10th May; 

I was 36 weeks + 1 day so thought now was a good time to pack my hospital bag. Got everything ready & all her little bits together. I also wrote my birth plan that day too. I went to bed early, about 8pm and watched "friends". I got a text through so I rolled onto my side to get my phone. As I did I just felt water gush everywhere! I completely panicked, phoned the hospital and they said to come in straight away as I wasn't full term. My friend took me in and I sat leaking all over her car haha! When we arrived she confirmed it was definitely my waters just from looking at me... Soaked! 

She told me I would have to stay in hospital to be monitored. I went up to the ward with 3 other women on it. One of them contracting all night.. I was petrified! My waters kept leaking but no contractions. 

Wednesday 11th May; 

I woke up after my one hours sleep around 7am. Had some breakfast & was put on the machine to be monitored. Everything was fine. Then at 1pm a midwife came round with a thermometer, tablets & an induction plan... For SUNDAY! Me and my mum argued that I didn't think it was right sending me home until then with no waters & a pre-term baby! She told us I was likely to go myself anyway. 

I was so tired I just went home, disappointed and worried. My mum dropped me off at my flat at 3.30pm. I phoned Craig, who was working in Edinburgh at the time, to tell him what had happened. I went for a bath at 4.15pm, as I got in the bath I had my first contraction. It was uncomfortable but not sore so I wasn't even sure it was one. 2 minutes later, another one, sorer this time. Then another 2 mins and then another. I phoned Craig and told him to make arrangements to leave work and then phoned my mum. By this point i was hysterical! The pains were unbelievable.

I was having less than 2 minutes break between contractions so my mum called an ambulance. 

It arrived within 3 minutes. I grabbed my bags and the ambulance men helped me out to the ambulance. I was petrified. They were brilliant with me. Even had me laughing. I had gas and air in the ambulance, it was amazing and calmed me right down. 

We arrived at the hospital about 5.15pm and was taken to a room. The woman was so impatient with me and really did not have a clue how to deal with people! She said to me "Emma you only left the hospital a few hours ago, so don't be disappointed when I examine you, it's unlikely you'll be more than 1cm". I burst into tears thinking "how much worse can this get?!".... 

.... 6cms! Ill never forget the look on her face! She clearly thought i was being over dramatic. I had diamorphine at this point and used my gas and air. At 7pm they did a shift change, and typical, I got landed with the wicked witch for the west! As she came in I told her I needed to push. She told me "you were only checked 1 hour & a half ago, I'm not examining you until after 9pm"... I continued trying to push and she kept telling me NOT to! My mum ended up telling her to examine me and having words with her lol. 

She examined me and said "Emma if you feel like you still need to push just go with your body"... I was fully dilated!! My mum was furious that she wasn't going to check me. I was too out of it by this point. 

I pushed and pushed and did everything I was told to but nothing was happening! The whole way through my labour I never had one pain in my stomach, all my contractions were in my back which I told them but nobody pain any attention. 

A senior doctor came in and told me I was getting taken to theatre for  emergency forceps. I was completely terrified! Craig wasn't even here yet because of traffic! They took the gas and air from me and rushed me down. The pain was excruciating by this point. 

When I got to theatre I sat on the edge of this bed and had my spinal. Within a minute the pain was gone. Completely. I couldn't feel a thing. 

They told me to push when they told me I had a contraction but if baby wasn't out within 3 pushes then it would be a section. I gave it everything I had. I was so worried for my baby girl and I just wanted her here and safe. 

2nd push, I pushed as hard as I could, I didn't notice anything going on around me I just stayed focused.... 

And at 9.10pm she was here! A tiny, beautiful little girl just lying ontop of me all shocked. She never cried straight away so I sat panicking asking if she was ok and crying. Then i heard her little cry. i broke down. was the bet sound in the world. They brought her over to me. She was tiny. Everything I could have hope for and more. 6lb 1oz. 50cms. I will remember every second of it for the rest of my life. Perfection.

I was so in love from the second I lay eyes on her. I would go back and do it all again if I could. I love her more than she will ever  know. 

Where it all began ❤

My relationship with Craig has all been a roller coaster. We never had the best start but (cheesy) I know we will be together until the end.

Every guy I had dated turned out to be a complete muppet, or just generally not right for me. So my friend suggested online dating. At first I was all defensive and said "no way, that's totally sad and depressing!" But eventually came round to the idea. I set up a profile online an chatted to a few people but didn't really pay to much attention to my account if I'm honest. Until Craig started chatting... 

He made me laugh for the word go. Was never ever sleazy or full of himself, just so laid back and chilled out. He was the same age as me too & into the same things. 

After about a month of chatting we met for a drink in my hometown. 

Some people might say that it's dangerous or not safe to meet someone online but in my own opinion, I met him in a public place, it was light and I told someone where I was going. It's not really that much different from meeting someone in a pub and then going on a date after. 

We got on great, chatted about everything and anything really. Anyway, we both ended up completely mortal... We were only 19 after all! Haha. I won't make up some story about how we dated for months before anything happened... He ended up staying the night that night. Yes, how slutty of me you might think, but since that night, I've never been with anyone else.

The first month, things were going great, we saw each other in the middle of the week in Edinburgh where he stayed and then he would come here at weekends or vice versa. 

Then on the 6th of October, our world got turned upside down. I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked but I was happy. Craig on the other hand, panicked. 

He turned into a different person instantly. He called me a liar, said I was making it up, said the baby wasn't his. 

He turned into a right arse. Things ended there and I told him to get in touch with me if he decided to grow up. 

First scan came and went, Anomaly Scan... Never heard a word. 

Then in March 2011 he decided to get back in touch, on Facebook, of all places. He explained how he was petrified, he'd gone back to Fort William for months, couldn't handle the news. But he said he wanted to be involved. I hated him for walking out but at the same time, I was actually glad to hear from him. I was glad he had made he decision to be in our baby girls life and that she wasn't born yet so was none the wiser. 

We met up in the middle of march and he apologised and grovelled really haha. I agreed it was right for him to be in her life and was happy for him to be involved. 

We kept in touch through the phone and on Facebook. Everyone said we would get back together but I was adamant we wouldn't. 

When my waters broke I phoned an told him, he was at work but was allowed to leave as soon as I needed him. When the contractions got strong I phoned him and it all happened quickly so he only arrived 2 minutes before she was born. It's still the most surreal experience of my life. 

He got his paternity leave and stayed with kayla and I the whole time, just being a daddy and helping me out. Nothing more. Feelings started getting stronger for both of us and we decided to get back together on June 30th 2011. Kayla was a month & a half. He continued living in Edinburgh and we saw him on his days off when he would come through to stay. In October he finally got a job through here and moved into our flat in Dunfermline. We got stronger and stronger together & things were genuinely amazing. 

On Christmas Eve 2011 he took me by surprise by proposing to me. I never expected it. Never. I knew he was growing up but I never expected this. I was so happy. My little family was together and happy everything was great. 

In February 2011 we found out we were expecting baby number 2! Everything was going so fast. I was so scared when we found out as I was worried he would leave again. Far from it. Craig was the one who bought the test, told me to do it and handed me a letter he'd written explains no matter what happens, that he will always be there. I was over the moon! I knew for sure he had changed from the boy I first remember. 

We now stay in our three bedroom house in Inverkeithing with our two beautiful children. We have our arguments, as any couple does, we disagree a lot and we pick at each other all the time. But we're here. We're still together and we're still strong and I am still completely in love with him. We get married on the 28th November 2014. Just over 4 years from the date we met. 

There is no other man I'd rather spend my life with.

Life before parenthood....

I was always your typical teenager once I hit high school. Thought I knew everything, when actually, I didn't know a bloody thing! Pretty moody, thought I was an adult etc etc. Then I hit 14 and I just turned into a nightmare.

Skipped school a lot, partied a lot, drank underage far too much.... 

Left school at 16, as soon as I could, against everyone's wishes.

Decided I was moving out and in with my boyfriend of 2 months (yes, 2 months) at 16... Didn't last long, moved back home. 

Then when I hit 17, I changed completely. 

I think I just woke up one morning and wondered what the hell I was doing with my life! 

I attended a "get ready for work course" which basically gained me employment skills and taught me how to be an "adult" really. Through this course I managed to find my first job. 

I started working at a private nursery in January 2008 and whilst working I gained my qualification in childcare and I'm not ashamed to say I was so proud of myself working here. 

I achieved my qualification in a year & a half, I had been a qualified nursery nurser not even when I was promoted to supervisor. I met some great people through that nursery & some others I'd tater forget. I had many great nights out with people here and met some people who I will always remember. Staff, parents & children. 

From 17 onwards, work was my focus but I loved my weekends. 

Was always out treating myself, always blonde, always had a tan and always had my hair done. Oh and always the last one on the dance floor on a Friday & Saturday night! 

Then I met Craig, and everything changed... My world turned upside down... For the better and I've never looked
back... 

About Me

I'm Emma Eve Miller, I'm 22 years old and I'm from Inverkeithing, a small town in Fife, Scotlad.
I have two gorgeous children who are everything to me and more.
Kayla who was born 11/05/11 & Riley who was born 28/10/12.
I'm engaged to be married in Novemeber 2014 to my other half and father to my children, Craig.
We met in August 2010 and the rest is history :)